Men Can Just Walk Away!
By Pam Horne
What really separates the men from the women??
So you’ve done your research, looked at maps, watched videos, found your lodging and separated your tackle and maybe even had an opportunity to visit the lake prior to the off limits time. What now??
This is a HUGE controversial statement, conversation, argument or however you want to categorize it, but in my opinion and only in my opinion, the biggest difference in men and women fishing is the fact that men can just walk away. They load their boats and trucks and just pull out of the driveway headed down the road. Sure, they’ve probably done all the map study and bait preparation but I’ll bet you fifty bucks, a spouse has done the booking for lodging, washed and dried all the clothes and probably packed them too and probably 90% of them do the bills so they’ve made allowances for the lodging, food, gas, etc. Women are naturally and genetically nesters, and please don’t take that in a negative way. I’ve been a tomboy all my life but my instincts totally changed when my son was born and they’ve been that way ever since. We, as females, CANNOT, by nature, just walk away. Even as a single household, I have a hard time just packing up and leaving for a whole week. For a single day or maybe two, yeah, it’s pretty easy, but a whole week, spins me out completely and I’m not leaving kids or pets at home when I go. Some women are tremendously blessed to have spouses that travel with them and help with everything from map study, packing gear and even sharing the drive, but a lot of us don’t have that so it exaggerates the fear and hesitation even more.
So how do we overcome all the anxiety, fear, and natural nesting instinct to join a group of like-minded ladies to go fishing??
First of all, preparation is the biggest key. The more you are prepared, the less stress you will have. Prioritize your worry and anxiety. When my son was younger, before he started school, he would spend almost the whole summer with my grandparents, his great-grandparents. I was a single parent and worked five (5) to six (6) days a week and he would stay with a baby sitter. I trusted my grandparents way more than anyone else and I wanted him to get to spend as much time with them as I did when I was younger. Did I miss him…, every single minute of every single day, but I knew that he was in the best hands and care and I KNEW that our absence from each other was healthy for our relationship as mother and son. It did him as much good as it did me, even though it hurt my heart to be without him for so long.
Most anglers that fish as boaters are at the lake for the whole week prior to the tournament, most co-anglers only go for a day or two during practice prior to the tournament. If you are leaving kids or animals, trust that you are leaving them in capable, responsible hands and take a few days for yourself. Most of us that do this have a passion that’s been put on hold while raising kids, working a full time job and managing a household. Take a break for one week and be selfish….it’s ok, I promise. If an emergency arises, follow your heart and do what you have to do. One of our ladies qualified for the classic last year and has two small children and had never left them very often but she left them with her very capable husband while she traveled to fish the classic. She made it through practice and was even making phone calls for daycare appointments in the coming weeks while in the boat fishing, but her little boy had an allergic reaction and broke out in hives, which he had done before, but her heart would NOT let her stay and she went home to be with him. THAT’S OK, she knew that she would not be able to concentrate or enjoy her time away worrying about him so she packed up and headed home, with her husband trying to convince her to stay. His reaction was not life threatening or super serious but her instinct would not let her stay away. THIS is the main difference between men and women traveling to fish. OUR INSTINCT is a powerful thing that overrides all other things. It’s ok to be that way, but don’t think that we are less competitive, passionate or skilled, just because it’s in our nature to be more of a homebody. But it’s also, ok to take a little time every now and then and test your skills, fulfill your passion and clear your mind with ladies that know EXACTLY how you feel and can relate.
The LBAA schedule is not hectic or packed with back to back tournaments. It’s four (4) tournaments within a four month period and the classic several months from the last tournament. You DO NOT have to fish them all if you are interested in trying, just pick one closest to you and see how it goes and build off that. I promise you, everyone will welcome you, relate to your fears or anxiety and make you feel welcome.
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